“Every time someone stands up and says who they truly are, the world becomes a tiny bit richer”. 

I wanted to recognise pride month, with a conversation with my friend and ex-colleague Garry who made the brave decision to come out as gay at the age of 40.  He and I have known each other for a few years, and I asked him if he would share his story.

So, who is Garry Senff?  Tell us a little about yourself.

I am a father of two teenage boys, and when I got to 40 had a mid-life crisis, left my job as a senior police officer, and then came out as gay.  

I decided to have complete career change and became an HR consultant, and I am now the Senior HR Business Partner at the transport giant FirstGroup plc, working at their UK Corporate Centre in Paddington, London.   I have worked across a range of sectors and industries over the last 8 years, including oil and gas, creative design, transport, financial services, third sector, technology and pharmaceutical.

I am also a qualified life coach having used the lockdown time semi-productively to get qualified and keen to put more of that into practice.

I am partial to an eclectic mix of bottomless brunch, theatre and cinema going (when it all re-opens), practising mindfulness and journaling, running, and cooking. You will often find me with my nose in a self-help book in a vain hope that they provide, un-prompted, some lightbulb moments of significant self-insight and transformation… I am still waiting. 

What does ‘Pride’ mean for you?

For me, it is about being unashamedly yourself, being accepted, but also accepting you as “you". I am proud to be me.  There is only one me, and I am proud of who I am, and I am proud to be gay.  Pride is about reminding people that difference is important - not weird, strange, odd, perverted, not normal, or any of the other phrases that have been used. 

It is about reminding people that there are different people in our world who do not fit the heteronormative stereotypes that too often we see presented as the ’norm’.  And just because someone does not fit a stereotype it does not mean they are “not normal”.  

Pride is about promoting tolerance, inclusivity, equality and making our communities and workplaces safer, more welcoming, and more accepting.  

It is a reminder that we have had to fight for equality and that the protest movement that started Pride is still needed both at home in our own country, and around the world where LGBTQ+ rights and freedoms are being eroded or removed even in the 21st century.   

When you read the quote above, how does it resonate with you?

When I came out, I made a promise to myself that I was going to try to be as authentic as I could. To come out at 40 and put my family through the trauma and distress I had, I felt it would be even more selfish of me if I were half-hearted about living an open and honest life, so hiding in a semi-closet was not an option.  I have tried to be open and honest about who I am both personally and professionally, starting with myself first and foremost.   When we are ourselves and, as that quote says, 'stands up and says who they truly are’ it does not just make the world a bit richer, it gives a hope and signal to people who do not yet have the strength or confidence to stand up and be seen. The more of us who stand up and be noticed and heard, the easier it will be for those around us or coming behind us to stand up and have the recognition and the equality that everyone deserves.

I know you have embarked on your own personal development to champion D&I in the workplace, can you talk to us a little about that and maybe help others who do not know where to start?

I am part of a small group of colleagues who are from across the Rail businesses, establishing an LGBTQ+ Network of Networks, to provide a hub for knowledge sharing, consistency of approach, and a wider voice across our Group.   I am also looking to establish, with our Group Director of Corporate Responsibility, an LGBTQ+ group within our own business and will be supported by Stonewall to develop this in the coming months.  I am keen to lend my support to activities that enable more junior colleagues an opportunity to see visible senior LGBTQ+ role models within and across our business and our own group network will help to promote that.

I also became a Role Model with the charity Diversity Role Models which seeks to provide positive LGBTQ+ role models to young people.  DRM creates safe spaces where young people can explore difference and consider their role in creating a world where we all feel accepted.  They run student workshops that feature LGBT+ or ally role models, who speak openly about their lived experiences, building young people's empathy, so they understand the (often unintended) impact of their language and actions on others.  I am also keen, when they start to seek volunteers again, to work with Switchboard, the LGBTQ+ helpline, in London to support the work they do in providing services to people who want to talk about issues that are affecting them.

I am keen to get more involved in organisations that exist to create change for the better, to do more, and to feel that the energy and motivation I have got is put to good use.

Finally, what one thing would you do to make the world a happier place?  

I would like it if we were all a bit more tolerant and accepting of each other. I think if we all just accepted people as people, let each other live their own lives, in our own way, the world would be a much happier place.